A Reason to Celebrate?

In New York, there is always a reason to party, or at least meet for a drink.

A person moving in or out of New York is often regarded with a sense of celebration.

We've all received invites to "Come party with me on my last night in town!" or "Help me Welcome my friend to NYC". I even threw a "Five Year NYC Anniversary" party with Kenzie, Annie and Emilie a while back.

With the constant stream of people moving in and out of New York City, I shouldn't be surprised that people move in and out of my life in the same way.

Would it be odd for me to start celebrating transitioning relationships?

Could I send out an email saying:

"I met a really great guy last weekend and he just called, lets celebrate!"

or

"Its been two years since I cut off that destructive relationship... join me for drinks!"

Would that be odd?

Bookstores and Baby Powder

Sometimes, something as simple as a trip to the local bookstore can become an adventure, like one Saturday night when we dropped into Barnes & Noble to kill time before a movie.

As we rode the bookstore Escalators to the top floor, we were greeted by floating particles in the air and the distinct smell of urine.

We got in line and saw a manager in the corner with a woman who was speaking loudly as he glanced around nervously.

She had big curly salt and pepper hair, a tattered leather jacket and even though it was well after 9pm, she wore huge sunglasses over her sunken eyes. She held a small bottle of baby powder in the air.

"Ma'am, I'm going to ask you to leave" the manager said quietly.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!?" she asked wildly.

The manager stared at her blankly.

"DO YOU??"

"Ma'am I--"

She began to emphasize her words by whipping the bottle of baby powder, around as she spoke.

"I'm with the F-B-I!!!" she exclaimed.

The F! (powder) B! (powder) I! (powder)

By the end of the sentence, the manager was dusted with a fresh layer of baby powder. He sputtered and coughed a little, then he just walked away.

I couldn't believe I had paid 10 bucks for a movie, just to get a show at B&N for free.

Happy Valentines Day New York... I heart You!

It was a bitter winter evening when my friend Jay and I boarded the #1 train.

As we sat down, we immediately took notice of a group of Spanish speaking tourists who were in a jovial mood that transcended any language barriers.

As our train barreled uptown, they laughed and told jokes in Spanish. Their laughter was so contagious that we couldn't help but laugh too. Then out of the blue, one of the guys broke into a rendition of the song "La Bamba".

At that exact moment the train pulled into the station, the doors opened and a man entered carrying a guitar. He saw the tourist, who he did not know, singing and offered the guitar to him.

The tourist grabbed the guitar began to play and soon the entire train was singing "La Bamba" at the top of their lungs.

One of the other tourists whipped out her camera and began to film. She told us that she would post the video on YouTube and title it "1 train uptown".

A few months later I randomly did a search and there it was!

Unfortunately there is no sound, but one of my favorite New York Moments was captured and I can't help but share it with you.


I Heart NY.

Jump in, Jump out, Turn yourself about

When I was younger we sang a song that went:

"Jump in! Jump out! Turn yourself about! Jump in! Jump Out! Introduce yourself!!"

We would stand in a circle jumping in and out, then we'd take turns introducing ourselves and our plans for the future:

"My name is CeCe (yeah!) and I'm gonna be a model (uh huh!) for the rest of my life (for the rest of her life!)"

"Hey! Jump in! Jump Out! Turn Yourself about!...."

Sometimes it seems like the week before Valentines Day turns into a huge game of "Jump in! Jump out!"

Jump In:
The week before Valentines Day gives some of us the urge to jump into a relationship. I've watched my friend Steven research every spa, restaurant and diamond pendant for a girl he thought he was breaking things off with two weeks ago.

Jump Out:
Then there are the people who choose this time of year to decide they dont want to be in a relationship. My friend Kenzie has to deal with the anxiety that comes from her boyfriend choosing the week of Valentines Day to break-up with her last year. They got back together soon after, but the damage is definitely done.

Yesterday afternoon (two days before V-Day) my friend Ayanna sent me an email about the great lunch date she had with the new guy she's been seeing. She even mentioned that she could see herself falling for him, only to text me that evening saying she was "done with him".

Turn Yourself About:
There are also the singles who spend this week running in circles trying to find a date for February 14th. This week I've gotten emails and a phone call from guys I dated in the past and havent heard from in a long time. I didn't bother replying to the emails, but I indulged the phone conversation which eventually turned to my Valentines Day plans.

A quick scan of the always entertaining Craigslist personals also proved that a Valentines Day date is a top goal for many New York Singles.

As for me, I'm not sure where I stand. In the back of my mind I thought that maybe Crick would come through and make some much needed plans with me, but he didn't and I'm okay with that. I could have taken the bait and had a V-Day date with a past beau just for the sake of having one, but I know it wouldn't have meant anything.

I think what's more important to me is the introduction part of the game. I just look forward to the day I can Jump in, introduce myself and confidently add "for the rest of my life" at the end.

A Brief Note On... Leggings

I always thought that:

1.) Tights are not pants, they should not be worn with short tops.

Most of the time you can still see through them to a degree, so they are best paired with a dress or mini... not a T-shirt.

Last fall I was shopping for shoes and the girl who was helping me had on tights with a t shirt, I could see her underwear right through... it was very awkward.

2.) Leggings are technically pants but probably should not be worn with short tops either.

The legging style is great, but the top you wear should cover your derriere. This morning, I saw a girl on 8th avenue with holes in her leggings right on the bum! If she had on a long sweater (perhaps cinced at the waist with a belt) this could have been avoided.

As my friend Emilie pointed out to me, short tops with leggings are okay if you are under the age of five. I will agree with that.

So, to all women over the age of five, lets do our best not to abuse these leggings trends.

"I never should have stood up"

It was a sunny Saturday, I had just finished buying the cutest pair of sunglasses when my friend Brad called to ask if I wanted to meet him for lunch on the Upper West Side. I said "sure" and made my way to the M104 bus, that goes up and down Broadway.

I got on the bus and slipped into a two person bench. At the next stop a woman boarded and plopped down next to me.

She wore those huge black glasses that people wear over their regular glasses when they drive, and she smelled kind of like chicken.

We made our way uptown and as we got close to my stop I turned to her and said "I'll be getting off at the next stop".

"OKAY OKAY" she said loudly and immediately stood up.

"Ma'am, you don’t have to get up yet" I said.

"No, No!"

We rode two blocks with her standing in the middle of the aisle not holding on to the rails.

As we crossed the intersection to my stop, a car made an illegal turn in front of the bus and the driver suddenly slammed on his breaks but it was too late, the bus slammed into the rear bumper of the car.

The woman who was not holding on to anything pitched forward and rolled down the aisle of the bus, landing in between the driver and the bus doors.

There was a chorus of "Oh My God" "Are you okay?" "Don’t Move!" "Call 911!" etc.

She went to stand up, but people told her not to, so the woman just laid on her back, occasionally lifting her head to look around.

My phone rang, it was Brad "Girl, that better not be your bus!" he said. He was across the street watching the drama from the restaurant window.

"It is!" I hissed into the phone "I don’t know if we can get off, lemme call you back"

After about 10 minutes on his walkie talkie, the bus driver opened the doors and people began to step over the woman and exit the bus.

As I exited the bus I looked at her hesitantly.

"Will you be okay?" I asked.

Then she raised her head, lifted her big glasses from her face and mumbled

"I never should have stood up... I never should have stood up...."

She continued mumbling and shaking her head as she laid it back down.

"This Place is Dead"

This weekend I was invited by my friend Rachel to a birthday party for a male friend of hers at a lounge in Tribeca.

By midnight a crowd was streaming in, the DJ was spinning and people were dancing. After apple martinis compliments of a photographer I had been dancing and chatting with, I excused myself so I could track Rachel down.

I saw her sitting on the other side of the bar laughing with the birthday boy as he held a bottle of champagne.

I walked up as Rachel said "C'mon, lets dance".

"Okay" he said as someone waved him over "actually, game a sec, I'll be right back..." he trailed off as he made his way across the dance floor.

We stood there talking for a while when Rachel grabbed my hand. "C'mon lets see who's here" she said.

We pushed our way through the crowded dance floor and bumped into my photographer, he had another guy with him.

"Do you girls wanna dance?" the photographer asked as his friend eyed Rachel approvingly. I turned to Rachel who eyeballed the photographers friend, said "No, thanks" and yanked me past them. I turned to give my photographer an apologetic shrug.

We weaved through the clusters of people near the bar, a few guys tried to get Rachel’s attention by touching her arm, but she just kept walking.

As we made our way back towards the dance floor, I turned to ask her a question but she was focused on something. I followed her gaze to one of the plush couches where the birthday boy sat with two girls, one of them was chugging from the champagne bottle.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "Lets go, this place is dead"

A Brief Note On...Eyebrows

Let me start by saying, I understand that eyebrows can make or break ones look. I have a standing appointment every two weeks to have my brows threaded by a wonderful girl named Rani. Even the best smokey eyeshadow can be ruined if its framed by a bushy unibrow...I get it.

But this morning, as I was headed downtown on the 2 train, I looked up from my book for a moment and caught a glimpse of a woman leaning on the doors, with a mirror out, tweezing her eyebrows.


Yes, the bright flourecent bulbs of the New York subway reflecting on the windows of the train doors may shed some light (pun intended) on your less than perfect arches. But the subway is a place for iPod listening, reading the news paper over a strangers shoulder and begging for change.

The subway is not a place for grooming!

One Singular Sensation

My phone rang the other night and it was one of my married friends.

“So, listen,” she said “my husband may have to travel on Valentines Day so I wanted to know if you wanted to come over and we can make dinner and drink champagne or something.”

“Sounds good,” I replied, and then we caught up a bit.

It wasn’t until I was hanging up the phone that the thought crossed my mind.

What if I had plans?

I look at my parents and the other “grown-ups” in my life, those with a marriage and kids and they all have a token single friend; the friend who’s always around to babysit or who is up for a girl’s night out at the drop of a hat.

Am I becoming that person?

As more and more of my friends get engaged, married or couple off into domestic bliss with a partner, I am trying very hard not to ignore the faint sense panic that washes over me sometimes.

I mean, I would hate to look up one day and realize that I am the only single person I know.

What you want, how you want it

Annie and I sat at brunch waiting for the rest of our friends. As the waitress brought our first round of mimosas, we caught up on the first date she'd had since her recent break-up.

"He leaned in to kiss me, and I burst into tears".

Keane had had a similar experience with a new friend of his as they were spooning in bed.

"He started telling me how beautiful my eyes were and I felt like I was going to cry" he told me.

What is it about these intimate moments that bring on a rush of emotion?

A few months ago I had plans for dinner and a DVD with a guy I had been talking to. Although he was nice and smart and funny I decided during dinner that he wasn't for me. We were having a good time and good conversation so, I thought nothing of continuing with the DVD portion of our date. There we were cozy in my apartment, in a comfortable silence, and suddenly tears began to well up in my eyes.

I realized that though it wasn't someone I was interested in, being with a guy in that intimate space felt good and I had missed it.

There is something painful about the offering of something you want from a place you don't want it to come from.

In my case the pleasure of a quiet, intimate moment mixed with the pain of sharing it with someone I didn't have feelings for resulted in a knot in my throat and tears in my eyes.

And so, we continue to wait for the time when what we want comes in the way we want it.

Three Layers... One Date

I had met Charles three weeks before we actually went out. He was good about calling, he called often and we had great conversations but after three weeks of that I couldn’t help but feel like I could potentially be wasting my time.

I’ve learned that a guy has three personality layers:

Layer One: When he first meets you and confidence is bursting forth.

Layer Two: When he starts calling and testing the waters and seeing what you are about. This is often done with jokes, for example:

A guy may make a sexual innuendo during an initial phone conversation and from a females reaction to it, may not call again (this has happened to me twice since I am not very receptive to sexually charged phone conversations)

Layer Three: When he takes you on a date. That’s when the flood gates open and anything can happen. He’s on a mission, it can be anything from “getting some” to finding a wife, but more often than not, on that first date you find out what it is.

The fear of Layer Three is why I hate dragging out the “talking” phase of dating. There’s nothing worse than getting pounced on during a first date and thinking back to all the hours of phone time that you will never get back!

When Charles asked me out after three weeks at Layer Two, I was interested to see how it turned out. He suggested taking me to dinner and I accepted.

So, on a warm evening I put on a white BoHo style dress with frayed edges across the neck and hemline, a denim shrug and a pair of strappy sandals. As I walked down the block to meet him (I never tell guys exactly where I live) I got approving stares from the guys hanging out on the street.

As I walked over to Charles car, feeling good, I opened the door and as I got in the passenger seat, I looked over and saw that he was wearing a jogging suit.

A jogging suit from… Old Navy.

I wanted to jump out of the car right then and there, but I felt paralyzed. As we drove to the restaurant and sat down to eat he was nice and funny but I couldn’t get over the jogging suit…from Old Navy.

I don’t know if I was staring at the Old Navy logo too much, but eventually he said

“I was going to wear a dress shirt and slacks, but I really didn’t feel like ironing today.”

I smiled politely and pushed my food around with my fork. I had no appetite.

As we drove back towards my apartment he says to me, “where did you get that dress?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well,” he pointed to the frayed edges “because it’s not finished.”

“It’s the style of the dress” I said flatly as I looked out the window, all the while wondering why I was explaining my fashion choices to someone in a jogging suit.

Then he said “Well… wherever you got it you should take it back.”

I turned to him and said “I’m sorry but, if I had known we were wearing PAJAMAS tonight, I would have dressed accordingly.”

We drove the rest of the way to my apartment in silence.

As we approached my corner he asked if I was upset, I told him that what he said was rude. Then I noticed that instead of pulling over for me to get out of the car he was attempting to Parallel Park. I asked him what he was doing and he said.

“Can’t I come up?”

He was shocked when I said "No".

Layer Three, gets you every time.